What Do I Do Now?

I have probably asked myself that question a hundred times over the last 22 months. It was 22 months ago that my wife slipped out into eternity to meet the Lord whom she loved supremely. I have encountered many situations that would have been easy to handle ... if she were with me ... but she wasn't. So I was forced to ask, "What do I do now?" On one occasion I was seated at a restaurant with three people from my church. All four of us were single. The lady who had created this foursome had made it a regular practice to take my wife and me out to eat on our birthdays and she wanted to continue this practice. A waitress came by our table who knew me but did not know that my wife had died. She asked me if the lady seated beside me was the one who let me buy the pda/phone that I had. {She always admired the phone when I came in.} I said "no" and she went on with her work. After the others left, I went back to talk to the waitress and explained to her that my wife had died and that the people with me were all from my church and had taken me out to eat for my birthday. I explained to her that I wanted to be very careful so people would not think wrongly about me.

A few weeks ago our church hosted a single lady missionary and it is my custom to take missionaries to get something to eat if they would like to. "What do I do now?" ran through my mind since I didn't feel comfortable taking this person out to eat alone. I asked a husband and wife to go with us and they were glad to get to spend some time with the missionary and with the pastor.

These scenarios occur over and over in the life of a pastor who is single/widowed. God knows what He is about and I trust Him. I pray that one day He will allow me not to have to ask the question "What do I do now?" - but then that decision is in His hands.